


Spirk Ficlets

by deepgreensea



Series: Ficlets and other things [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, Hugs, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Naked Cuddling, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-02 06:13:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10211339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepgreensea/pseuds/deepgreensea
Summary: Just a collection of shorter Spirk things I've posted ontumblr. Each chapter is labelled with the prompt title and the rating (T/M/E). I'll be adding to this occasionally :)Other tags may be added with later chapters.





	1. Bed-sharing (M)

It had been a long time since Jim had felt this kind of trepidation, but standing at the foot of Spock’s bed he felt his stomach clench and his palms turn clammy. He wished Spock could have given up his quarters instead, at least Jim’s bed was a fraction bigger and maybe they would have more than an inch of space between them.

“Sorry about this Spock,” Jim said as he lay down behind Spock, pretty much an inch away. “I would have bunked with Bones but he gave up his quarters for a biobed.”

“It is unnecessary for you to apologise Jim, it is only for one night. I am sure we will survive.”

Jim wasn’t as optimistic. He’d had hours to prepare himself for this, but unfortunately he’d used most of that time to think about what Spock’s skin would feel like under his hands.

“Night Spock.”

“Good night Jim.”

Jim turned away from Spock — out of sight, out of mind after all — and tried to sleep. But the heat radiating from Spock’s body and the soft sound of his breathing reminded Jim too strongly of how close he was to what he wanted more than anything. He lay still for as long as possible but eventually started tossing and turning. And eventually Spock noticed.

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“I can get up and meditate until you fall asleep, if my presence is making it difficult.”

“No Spock, it’s not you.” _Yes it fucking is._ “I just have a lot on my mind. Sorry… I’ll try lie still.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

 _God yes_. “Nah Spock, I’ll be alright.”

He felt and heard Spock turning over towards him, and it took a lot for Jim not to do the same.

“Lie on your front Jim.”

He wanted to ask why but more than anything he wanted Spock to show him why, so he silently obliged. And he shuddered when he felt Spock’s hand touch his shoulder. Spock clearly thought nothing of it, and started moving his hand up and down Jim’s back. It was meant to be soothing but it was the exact opposite.

“Will this help you relax?” Spock asked, his up and down motions becoming circular.

“Yeah,” Jim replied, not even sure what his voice sounded like anymore.

“Will it help you to fall sleep?”

 _Not a fucking chance._ “Yeah… definitely.”

So Spock carried on. And Jim lay there, taking every drop of sweet torture, and wondering how this could possibly end in anything other than disaster. He didn’t get to think for long though, because with every pass Spock’s hand went a little bit higher, until his fingers grazed the naked skin of Jim’s neck. And if Jim made a sound Spock again thought nothing of it and carried on, making sure his fingers touched the nape of Jim’s neck every time after that.

Jim was beyond messed up, and any chance of getting out of this with his dignity intact was quickly slipping away. And then it was gone altogether.

Spock slipped his hand under Jim’s shirt and there was definitely a noise and it was much too loud for them to pretend it didn’t happen. Yet Spock somehow did, and dragged his hand across Jim’s naked skin. With no fabric separating them the heat from Spock’s hand felt overwhelming.

Jim was pretty sure he was breathing too loud, and Spock was probably going to notice that he wasn’t any closer to falling asleep. But it had gone way too far for Spock to not know what he was doing. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing to Jim. But that didn’t matter, because Spock was his first officer and his friend and there were consequences to this ending in disaster.

“Spock…”

“Yes Jim?”

“I think I’m good now.”

“As you wish Jim.” Spock slid his hand off much too slowly. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Jim turned on his side, again away from Spock, and resigned himself to not getting much sleep.

And he didn’t, at all. Because moments later Spock’s hand was on his shoulder again, and this time it was firm and it pulled until Jim lay on his back. And then Spock’s lips pressed into his — hesitantly, but only at first. And nothing Spock did after that was hesitant, not when Jim moaned in approval and pulled him close. And then Jim was very thankful for the smaller bed.


	2. First Kiss (T)

Spock could remember all the ways in which he stopped shying away from Jim. 

He remembered the first time he didn’t find an excuse to get away when Jim touched his arm, and he remembered Jim’s look of surprise and the way his hand hesitated afterwards.

He remembered the first time he didn’t look away when he caught Jim’s eye. He remembered Jim holding his breath as he looked down, and Spock liked the way colour spread across Jim’s face afterwards.

He remembered the first time he leaned in as Jim stood next to him the way Jim always did, close enough for their uniforms to touch. Jim flinched and tensed up in what Spock hoped was surprise. And he remembered how they stood like that for much too long afterwards.

The thing Spock would never forget is the first time Jim understood what all those things meant. When Jim wanted to say goodnight but instead grabbed Spock’s arm and spun him around and kissed him. Spock would never forget the taste of Jim’s lips or the feel of his tongue, and most definitely not the way Jim whispered his name when they finally broke apart.


	3. Hug (T)

Jim waited for ages to get Spock alone. He’d been waiting from the moment they got out of the drone ship. Everything between then and now felt like a blurred eternity. There was a hospital where Spock was operated on where Jim was not supposed to be, and that felt the longest. There were endless meeting rooms where Jim had to detail the events of Altamid, but that felt shorter somehow because Spock was okay. And now there was a party. Against all odds Jim liked the party, liked having his family around him. Liked that they _were_ still around.

But all the things he needed to say to Spock welled up inside until they made his chest feel tight.

He stood by the window and watched in the reflection as people slowly trickled out. Spock knew he was waiting, he had to know because he was still there, looking over at Jim every now and again. Maybe also waiting.

Jim turned around when he saw Spock finally making his way over, having seen the last person to the door. Spock stopped in front of him, hands behind his back, looking a bit paler and more serious somehow. But alive.

Jim reached out and ran his fingers lightly down Spock’s side, over his heart and what he imagined was now just a scar, and he pretended not to hear the way Spock’s breath hitched.

“I’m sorry about this.”

Spock’s lips parted slightly, as if to say something, but no words came out. Instead he reached out a hand to cup Jim’s cheek, and his thumb gently traced a line under the bruise.

“Why did you choose to not get this fixed?”

Jim closed his eyes and tried his hardest to not lean into Spock’s hand. “I don’t know.”

His eyes were still closed when he felt Spock’s breath on his cheek, and then Spock’s lips on the skin his thumb had just traced. Jim gasped and pulled Spock towards himself so hard they almost toppled over. He tried to be mindful of the fact that Spock was still recovering, but Spock didn’t seem to care because he was hugging him back just as tight. 

There were still things he needed to say but for now this was enough and so  _good_. Somehow the tightness in his chest was gone, replaced by the heat from Spock’s. And for the first time in days it felt like everything was moving at the right speed again.


	4. Naked kiss (M)

Jim loves teasing Spock. Loves pushing Spock against the bed and slowly undressing him, kissing him everywhere except on the lips. Jim loves how Spock tries to keep his composure, but he loves even more how Spock is anything but composed when he’s pulling at Jim’s hair with shaking hands. 

And Jim draws it out stupidly long, until they’re both naked and he’s lying on top of Spock kissing his neck and jaw and cheeks, inching closer to his lips before backing away again. The part he really loves is when Spock does eventually lose it, pulling Jim towards himself with terrifying strength while muttering something in Vulcan. But the part Jim loves the most is when he gives in and presses his lips to Spock’s and finally slides his tongue into Spock’s mouth. 

And that’s when Spock gets him back, because Spock will loosen his grip and kiss him infuriatingly slowly until Jim is the one moaning and shaking and pleading for more.


	5. Naked cuddles (M)

Some nights when Jim gets into bed Spock’s already sleeping, and that means Spock’s really tired. It means no sex and no kissing, because Spock’s already exhausted himself by pulling a double shift or fighting aliens or saving Jim. It means he needs his rest, and Jim is happy to let him sleep. 

It doesn’t mean that Jim can’t get into bed naked and then slowly and carefully take off Spock’s clothes as well. And Spock will wake up and try to help and try to kiss Jim, because Spock wants to give him everything he could ever want. But Jim will whisper ‘ _sleep_ ’ and kiss Spock’s cheek and settle in behind him. Because Jim just wants to feel Spock’s hot skin against his own. Because he didn’t wait five years just to be separated from everything he could ever want by layers of clothing. 

— 

Some nights Spock will wake up and feel Jim’s cool naked skin against his own. He doesn’t get to enjoy this often enough. Mostly because as soon as any portion of his naked skin touches Jim’s, things immediately get out of hand. And Spock really _really_ enjoys the out of hand stuff, especially all the things Jim does with his mouth. 

But sometimes Spock just wants to wake up in the middle of the night and slide his arms around Jim and pull him really close and bury his face in Jim’s hair. Because a lot of times this still doesn’t feel real to Spock. Not after so many years of revelling in Jim’s chaste pats on the shoulder and careful touches on the arm. And Spock remembers how on those days every layer of fabric felt like lead, and he also remembers how, despite that, his skin tingled for hours afterwards. So sometimes he still can’t believe he gets to touch Jim, but this helps. Moulding their naked bodies together until he can feel Jim’s heartbeat echoing through his own body is as real as it gets.


	6. Shy (E)

The thing that surprised Jim the most when he started pursuing Spock was how reserved the Vulcan was on almost every front. Jim wasn’t used to seeing Spock hesitate and blush and drop his gaze. He was used to a confident first officer that always knew exactly what to say and how to ask for what he wanted.

Except with Jim he didn’t. Not after being raised as a Vulcan and having no idea what to do with all the sudden irrational human desires and responses that Jim evoked in him.

—

The first time Jim kissed Spock was the first time he’d ever seen Spock so speechless. He couldn’t even look at Jim. But he held on tight and didn’t let go and Jim let him catch his breath and kissed him again. After that Spock would never be the one to kiss Jim first, but he’d get a certain look in his eyes and Jim would lean in and press their lips together.

The first time Jim shoved his hand down Spock’s pants was also the first time that Spock moaned in pleasure. It pulled at something primal in Jim and he paused and whispered softly about how much he liked hearing Spock moan and how it drove him crazy. And Spock got a little more vocal after that. Softly at first, a sharp intake of breath or a barely-there whimper, but by the time he was coming in Jim’s hand it turned into groaning and crying out Jim’s name.

The first time they had sex was the first time Spock had come to Jim’s quarters in the middle of the night. Spock didn’t say anything but Jim hoped he was reading it right and led him to the bed. It took forever just to undress because Spock held on so tight every time Jim tried to take a layer of clothing off him. So Jim undressed first, and took Spock’s hands and put them on his chest and whispered how badly he wanted Spock to touch him. And Spock did, rested his head on Jim’s shoulder and ran his hands down Jim’s sides and opened his lips against Jim’s skin and kissed.

Spock’s clothes came right off after that and Jim lay him down and they kissed for ages. But Spock still tensed when Jim kissed down his stomach and licked his cock before wrapping his lips around it. But Spock relaxed with every slide of Jim’s lips, and by the time he came he was bucking up into Jim’s mouth and moaning obscenely.

When Jim eventually pushed inside him Spock completely fell apart. He was loud and unrestrained and looked Jim in the eye for what felt like the first time ever.

And it got better every time after that. Spock would pull at Jim harder every time and gradually turn Jim’s attempts at sweet and slow into anything but. He learned how to tell Jim in words instead of moans how good everything felt, and this never failed to drive Jim over the edge.

And it seemed like no time at all before Spock was the one pushing Jim up against the wall or the couch or the bed, and kissing him deeply before ripping his clothes off.


	7. Voyeurism (E)

_Part 1/3_

—

_Set on shore leave, when the crew have to double up and share rooms :)_

—

Jim should have heard the water running. He probably should have figured Spock would come back to their room and he should have knocked. And actually maybe he should just take a step back and close the door now as quietly as he can, because it doesn’t seem like Spock’s heard him over the sound of the shower. But Jim’s frozen on the spot because Spock is naked, and Jim is completely enthralled by the sight of water running down Spock’s back.

Jim tries to snap out of it because he really shouldn’t be watching his friend shower. Except that Spock doesn’t seem to just be showering, because Jim can only see one of Spock’s hands and it’s pressed against the wall in front of him. As soon as Jim realises what Spock is doing with his other hand all the blood rushes to his cock. He didn’t picture Spock as the type, being all proper and Vulcan and restrained, but he is definitely and most certainly getting off in the shower.

If there was any chance of Jim stepping out and closing the door before, it was gone now. 

Jim tries to push out of his mind all the different kinds of wrong this is, and it’s surprisingly easier than it should be. And instead he just watches as Spock’s head falls back and his arm starts moving faster. It’s muffled by the sound of the water but Spock is definitely making some sort of noises.

Jim knows this isn’t going to end well because he’s painfully hard with no immediate relief in sight. And at some point he’s going to have to get out of this without Spock seeing him and then he’s going to have to avoid eye contact for a while. And he’ll probably feel really dirty but that won’t stop him thinking about this when he strokes himself in the shower later.

But Spock messes all of that up for Jim because he moans and turns his head to the side and sees Jim’s reflection in the mirror.

Spock spins around tries to cover up and Jim has never seen his face look quite as shocked and mortified.

“Shit Spock sorry— fuck, sorry!” As if it helps, Jim raises one hand in front of his face to block out the sight of Spock — and he realises just how stupid it looks now but it’s sort of instinct.

He backs out and closes the door and _what the fuck has he done?_

He’s pretty sure it’s too late to pretend that he’d just walked in and hadn’t been standing and watching.


	8. Masturbation (E)

_Part 2/3_

—

Spock stands at the mirror and wills himself to walk out of the bathroom. It’s made infinitely harder by the fact that all he has is a towel around his waist, and it’s not the most dignified way to face Jim. He doesn’t even want to think about what Jim must think of him now, but it’s probably much less than what it was an hour ago. It’s all Jim’s fault actually, but that’s not something Spock will ever admit.

It’s just that Jim sat across from him at lunch and smiled a lot and licked his lips incessantly and touched Spock far more than usual. And Spock had no way to distract himself from it all. So he excused himself as soon as it became appropriate and went back to what he believed to be the safety of their room. He only meant to get away before betraying his feelings for his captain, but then he just gave in to his urges. 

Spock knows he should have stayed on the ship. He knows that being around Jim in this environment is playing with fire. 

And all the while he tries very hard to push out of his mind the suspicion that Jim did not look like he had just walked in.

Spock tightens the towel around himself and walks out, intent on getting dressed as soon as Jim gets the hint and affords him some privacy. He’s barely taken a step forward when Jim stands up from the bed and approaches him.

“Spock I’m so sorry, I—”

“Do not apologise Jim, I behaved inappropriately.”

“No Spock, you didn’t—”

“Jim I wish to return to the ship and not to discuss this further. I hope you will allow me to retain some measure of dignity in this situation.”

“Spock wait, just let me—” Jim reaches out and grabs his hand, and the touch sends a jolt through Spock.

Jim lets go of Spock’s hand and walks backwards towards one of the beds. He looks at Spock and without breaking eye contact takes off his shirt. And then his shorts. Spock swallows and he’s pretty sure it’s loud enough for Jim to hear.

“Spock,” Jim says shakily and motions to the bed across from him, “Sit down.”

Spock walks almost against his will, drawn by a silent force, and hesitantly sits down across from Jim. And then Jim bends down and takes off his briefs and Spock has to fight to control his reaction to the sight. He doesn’t know what’s happening or why Jim is naked but he’s compelled to stay and find out. 

Although the human in Spock suspects he has a pretty good idea of what’s about to happen.

Jim lies back, closes his eyes, and starts stroking himself. Spock’s mouth falls open and he blushes furiously, and finds relief only in the fact that Jim can’t see his reaction. He understands this is Jim’s way of making him feel less ashamed about what happened, but he suspects Jim has no idea what this is actually doing to him.

Spock grips the edge of the bed and focuses on taking long and steady breaths, but he doesn’t look away from Jim for a second. Not even when Jim starts moaning and arching his back and especially not when Jim eventually comes with a shudder and a loud groan.

Spock just grips the bed tighter.


	9. Blowjob (E)

  _Part 3/3_

—

Jim lies on the bed and tries to get his breath back. As the cloud of lust fades he feels panic seeping in at the thought of what he’s done. Watching Spock is one thing but putting on a show to somehow make up for it is probably wildly inappropriate at best.

And as his senses come back he realises he can hear Spock’s breathing for maybe the first time ever, and it sounds like Spock is still sitting on the bed across from him. Jim tilts his head and opens his eyes just enough to see that Spock is indeed still there. And Spock’s towel is doing nothing to hide his very obvious hard-on and Jim thinks maybe it wasn’t the most terrible idea.

Jim slowly sits up and for a few moments it’s just him and Spock staring at each other, feeling everything changing. Jim wants to speak but there aren’t really words for something like this. There are actions though.

He stands up and steps up to Spock, puts his hands on Spock’s bare shoulders and leans down to kiss him. Spock hums and covers Jim’s hands with his own. It’s slow and searching because Jim’s urgency is gone and Spock is careful and shy and probably a little shocked.

Jim breaks away and whispers, “Lie down.”

The kissing gets a lot more heated after that.

Jim thinks he could do this for hours, he’s waited forever and it’s finally starting to feel real. But he also can’t ignore the way Spock’s pressing into him.

“Did you umm…” Jim starts speaking and falters when Spock’s eyes meet his own so close up, “Did you finish… before I came in?”

Spock shakes his head and utters an almost silent _‘no’_.

“I umm…” Jim whispers almost shyly, “I wanna make up for that Spock.”

Spock doesn’t reply but he puts his hand on the back of Jim’s neck and pulls him back in for a much needier kiss.

And Jim does make up for it. He unwraps Spock’s towel and sucks him off like it’s the only thing left in the world. And Spock completely loses himself in it, moaning with every delicious move of Jim’s mouth, every lick of his tongue and stroke of his hand. And when Jim feels fingers sliding through his hair he takes Spock deeper into his mouth.

When Spock comes Jim crawls back up to wrap himself around Spock and kiss and hold him while he shudders. And Jim thinks that maybe walking in on Spock was not the worst thing he could have done.


	10. Cuddles (M)

Before there was more, before kissing and touching and long nights of naked skin and loud moans and heavy breaths, there was something else. Jim didn’t know how it happened, just that one night Spock sat a little too close on the couch and a minute later they were lying down, arms wrapped around each other. Breathing each other in and feeling each other’s heartbeat.

It felt good and safe and like everything was right, so of course it happened again. And again. There was nothing that couldn’t be fixed by Spock’s body next to Jim’s. It wasn’t every night, but it was every night after a long or a bad day.

No one would ever believe that he was spending evenings cuddling with Spock, least of all Jim himself, but that’s exactly what it was. There were never any words said, and they never spoke about it afterwards.

Jim knew this wouldn’t last though, not like this at least. They were both getting braver every time. They’d moved from the couch to the bed. Sometimes after a while Jim’s hands would start wandering, innocently at first and then less so, until Spock’s breath would hitch and Jim would have to stop because his hands would be shaking. And sometimes Spock’s lips would get too close to his skin and Jim would have to hold on tighter.

But before there was more Jim wanted to enjoy just this. The warmth and the closeness and the unmistakable undercurrent of anticipation.


	11. On the couch (E)

Jim lies behind Spock on the couch, one arm under Spock’s head and the other wrapped around his waist. They’re watching a movie and Spock is concentrating intently because it’s one of Jim’s favourites. So of course Jim has seen it a hundred times.

So of course Jim gets a bit distracted when Spock absentmindedly brushes his fingers along Jim’s arm. And after that it’s just a downward spiral, and all Jim can do is try to slow it down. He starts by tracing his fingertips down the length of Spock’s arm, and when that doesn’t get a response he traces them back up. Spock’s only reaction is to close his eyes and take a second too long to open them again. But it’s enough to let Jim know he’s going to pull Spock right down with him.

He drags his fingers down Spock’s side, moving his lips closer so Spock can feel the breath on his neck. Jim’s fingers pause at Spock’s hipbone, and he smiles as he hears the distinct shift in Spock’s breathing.

His fingers slide under Spock’s shirt and trace patterns across his stomach.

“Jim.” Spock’s voice is gentle but cautionary, and Jim likes that a little too much.

His fingers find the line of hair that starts under Spock’s navel and he runs his index finger up and down and feels the tensing of Spock’s muscles as he struggles to lie still.

“James.” Spock’s low grumble combined with the formality makes Jim’s stomach flip. Spock has never called him ‘James’ before, and Jim knows he’s onto something good, and he’s about to break Spock in the best way possible.

He slides just his fingertips under the waistband of Spock’s pants and Spock moans and pushes backwards into him. Jim’s lips finally connect with Spock’s neck and he shoves his hand further into Spock’s pants and wraps it around his cock. He strokes Spock slowly as he grinds against him from behind and pretty soon Spock does break, moaning obscenely and throwing an arm behind to pull Jim closer and make him go faster.

—

They lie and kiss afterwards and Spock’s only comment is that next time Jim should pick a movie that Spock’s already seen.


	12. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” (T)

Spock walked into his quarters and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t like to pull rank, hated it actually, but there was no way he was spending another night in medbay. He was fine. All of Leonard’s machines confirmed it, so he was going to sleep in his own quarters, in his own bed, wearing his own clothes.

He took his shoes off by the door and made his way through with only slight unsteadiness. There was just enough light coming through the window for Spock to see that something was amiss as he neared his bed. It looked unmade, and taking another few steps forward he realised with horror that someone was lying under the covers.

“Lights!” Spock shouted, grabbing uselessly at his side where there was obviously no phaser. There wasn’t even a belt because his uniform had been mostly destroyed four days ago, and he was wearing medbay issue pyjamas.

Even after all the inexplicable phenomena they’d run into out in deep space, somehow the sight of Jim in his bed was stranger that anything Spock’s mind managed to conjure up during the second-long delay. Jim sat upright, bare-chested and messy-haired, and looked at Spock in abject horror. He moved as if to stand, before clutching protectively at the sheet around his waist and motioning to a pile of clothing on the dresser.

“Jim are you…”  _naked?_

“Spock shit sorry, this is not what it looks like.”

“Jim is there a reason you are naked in my bed?”

“I didn’t bring my pyjamas and I figured—”

“That is not what I...” Spock trailed off as he shook his head, trying to look more bemused than angry. Because he definitely wasn’t angry, just tired and surprised and not sure whether he was imagining this because of his lack of meditation coupled with all the drugs McCoy had given him over the last few days.

“Spock please just hand me my clothes and let me get dressed.” Jim motioned again to the pile, and Spock took a few steps towards the dresser and retrieved it. He placed it on the bed before reluctantly stepping away, realising he wasn’t going to get an answer out of Jim while he was in a compromising position.

Spock stood with his back to the bed and listened to Jim hurriedly shuffling into his clothes. He couldn’t think of a single explanation for what was happening, but what surprised him was that he didn’t seem to mind. Well it shouldn’t really have surprised him, all things considered.

“Spock I’m sorry about this, you’re free to file a complaint in the morning but I’d really like to leave now.”

“I do not intend to file a complaint, but I would prefer if you gave me an explanation.”

“Please don’t ask me that Spock. I’d rather deal with a complaint, I violated your privacy. I’m sorry.” Jim started trying to make his way out but Spock grabbed onto his arm as he was walking past.

“Jim please talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim pleaded, extricating himself from Spock’s grasp before heading for the door.

“Jim when you—” Spock cut himself off, waiting and hoping for Jim to stop, to stay.

He did stop.

“When you—” Spock still couldn’t say the word. “—after Khan, I—”

Jim turned around and looked curiously at Spock, who was struggling to find the right words for something he never intended to tell anyone.

“I went to your quarters. I…” Spock trailed off again, unsure of how to finish.

Jim walked towards him and stopped just outside of his personal space and Spock wished, just this once, that Jim didn’t have to be so respectful.

“I had difficulty sleeping while you—”  _were dying._  “I slept in your quarters.”

‘Slept’ was one way of putting it. Spock remembered walking in, stumbling through the chaos and destruction to Jim’s bed and trailing his fingers across the pillow. He remembered clutching it as he curled up on the bed and sobbed. Remembered clearing away the rubble and coming back every night after McCoy kicked him out of medbay to slip under the covers and breathe in  _Jim_. But ‘slept’ would do, he’d already said more than he ever meant to.

“Jesus…” Jim breathed out.

Spock stood still and silent, hoping he’d given Jim enough, because he couldn’t give him any more without prying open things he’d carefully stitched up so long ago. They looked at each other for ages, held in place by the weight of all the things they were too scared to say, until Jim stepped forward and threw his arms around Spock.

“Spock you stopped breathing— fuck, I thought—” Jim turned his head and Spock felt lips press into his neck. He wanted them to open and move against his skin leaving wetness in their wake, but all they did was say his name over and over. So he tightened his arms around Jim and squeezed like he’d wanted to do four years ago when Jim was lifeless on a biobed and all Spock had was a pillow.

“Please can I stay?” Jim whispered, “We’ll just sleep.”

Spock didn’t know what he wanted more — for Jim to stick to his word and hold him all night and just sleep, or break it and do things to him he’d only seen in his dreams — but he murmured  _‘stay’_  and walked them backwards towards the bed.


End file.
